It's hit me before; this dread and dispare of the capability of violence of my species. I was brought back to this now.
Changing my Gmail background is for me now a reminder to myself of a deep dream.
One day we will have tremendous care and equal amazement among each human for all that is on our planet. That we enjoy to be a support for that around us to thrive.
"One day the indigenous herds, whether humans or buffalo will again roam" a voice whispered in my head. A part of me with undying hope.
There's this thing about writing in my life.... that it comes and goes. My motivation this time is because, as is often the case, I want to share a part of my life more openly. That in itself is a) I want family and friends to be able to follow this segment of life more closely and b) I want to see what this may spark in other people, cause it's often really inspiring for me... So, I'm back here for now! I stopped myself from spending an eternity on design, and simply just chose this background image - the Artisanitorium with the women dancing with horses - as a symbol for my passion. ...Catch onto coming posts to find out about this exciting next segment ;)
So, I've come back after nearly two years to this blog now thinking, maybe it's time to write more again? I've just found this draft, and decided to publish just the little snippet.
-----
Lately I'm beginning to notice that I can sing. Sonja and I in the living room finding ways to sing harmonies for our little surprise concert coming up. And Lars (her father) intentively listening from the side of the room, stops us for a second "what if you could emphasize these pieces instead of the pieces you tend to stick to?". He hesitates for a second and then simply says, nah, I can't 'show' you.
Lars is greatly in love of making music, a number one hobby of his is to apply his knowledge and love of musical theory while behind his keyboard or his Logic Pro set up. I pick up where I left off, gently entoning the passages lars had mentioned. He comments again, and I pick up his ideas like a flash flood. This time without hesitation a seemless voice grasping the tones and I listen to myself thinking, I can do this?
Now see, I remember hearing as a twelve year old, the conversations between my parents friends and my parents "Ah, your children are wonderful..." "Isa has such a beautiful voice". And I must say how greatful I am to these people for their inspiration of me. And regardless of the fact that that went straight to my already bloated ego (whom gladly went along fishing for more food), those words always buried down to a deeper part of myself, that resonated inside of me "I sing".
Even though I have plenty of courage when it comes to the joy of expression through music (the joy part is purely the one to blame for the expression part) the outer levels of myself are stubborn. This outer part is the one that sometimes doubts, hesitates, takes criticism personally, and so on.
-------
Now, as I re-read this draft this time around I couldn't quite remember what it was that sparked me to write. Then the last sentence sprang up
"This mail was sent to you because A client tried to buy a Jamendo PRO license for your music." And it rushed back to me, the feeling of awe that I was hit by when I received that email, two years ago. Thinking then, wow, some one has found value in my art. It's always meangingful for me to hear this. And past speaking of my own ego... the words that come to me now, "It's like hearing that I really am a part of this world, a meaningful part, and that it's also a cool world to be a part of". I hope this can be an inspiration for you to press the button maybe just a little bit more often, that touches somebody else's life... And with that said, here is some music for you: Nesnärg Råg Trav (Work in progress) by Iraisis
