Moments with meaning

So, I've come back after nearly two years to this blog now thinking, maybe it's time to write more again? I've just found this draft, and decided to publish just the little snippet.

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Lately I'm beginning to notice that I can sing. Sonja and I in the living room finding ways to sing harmonies for our little surprise concert coming up. And Lars (her father) intentively listening from the side of the room, stops us for a second "what if you could emphasize these pieces instead of the pieces you tend to stick to?". He hesitates for a second and then simply says, nah, I can't 'show' you.

Lars is greatly in love of making music, a number one hobby of his is to apply his knowledge and love of musical theory while behind his keyboard or his Logic Pro set up. I pick up where I left off, gently entoning the passages lars had mentioned. He comments again, and I pick up his ideas like a flash flood. This time without hesitation a seemless voice grasping the tones and I listen to myself thinking, I can do this?

Now see, I remember hearing as a twelve year old, the conversations between my parents friends and my parents "Ah, your children are wonderful..." "Isa has such a beautiful voice". And I must say how greatful I am to these people for their inspiration of me. And regardless of the fact that that went straight to my already bloated ego (whom gladly went along fishing for more food), those words always buried down to a deeper part of myself, that resonated inside of me "I sing".

Even though I have plenty of courage when it comes to the joy of expression through music (the joy part is purely the one to blame for the expression part) the outer levels of myself are stubborn. This outer part is the one that sometimes doubts, hesitates, takes criticism personally, and so on.

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Now, as I re-read this draft this time around I couldn't quite remember what it was that sparked me to write. Then the last sentence sprang up

"This mail was sent to you because A client tried to buy a Jamendo PRO license for your music."

And it rushed back to me, the feeling of awe that I was hit by when I received that email, two years ago. Thinking then, wow, some one has found value in my art. It's always meangingful for me to hear this. And past speaking of my own ego... the words that come to me now, "It's like hearing that I really am a part of this world, a meaningful part, and that it's also a cool world to be a part of".

I hope this can be an inspiration for you to press the button maybe just a little bit more often, that touches somebody else's life...

And with that said, here is some music for you:


Nesnärg Råg Trav (Work in progress) by Iraisis

An early morning

The day started at 5:30 am with a light knocking on my door, "Isa, it's time".
We rushed outside with our equipment (tripods, cameras and the assorted) to catch the light of dawn. Julian, a Lebensgarten member (a community in Germany) is getting a website made and needs photos. Sebastian Graf and I get to collaborate our first photo project. Sebastian's ideas are along the lines of panorama's and playing with morning light. We rush to get to the Januarsberg hill before the sun rises.

Sun rising in the background, giving a stunning portait.

The area around the hill; a pine forest with a fresh spray of birch trees which have within the last week awoken from their slumber and now sizzle with small leaves. My heart smiles at my surroundings, the bursting signs of spring, which I have to some part missed in the last week due to feeling sick.

Image courtesy: Sebastian Graf

We go from place to place, along our way to the hill. Stopping to test different areas and become acquainted with our roles, as photographers with equipment, or for Julian - finding ways to express himself, while shivering in the cool morning air...

An unedited panorama showing the morning activities.

So many balls in the air!

I feel like I have a hundred projects happening. At first I was excited and relieved to be changing my life in relation to the beginning of this year - where i felt like nothing was happening and that I wouldn't be able to sustain it even if there was. Now I am so happy to have all of these possibilities to earn money and to be in flow, and not become stagnant, which i've done my fair share of in the this year (pre summer).

One model for the IHD logo, not final. 

I have a great opportunity with the growing project IHD (Indian Horse Database). Which I am increasingly a part of. Not to mention the fact that I am doing my second professional logo for this project. This is a great opportunity in terms of me learning business, learning productivity. Learning how to develop a product in relation to many aspects of it's purpose.
I am successively amazed by Beau's ability not only to dream big but to dare to go for it. She's got more guts then me there. It's so much fun to be invited to be a founding part of something like this. And yet, we still have no idea where it's going, which I give her even more credit for... how do you have the courage to continue when gain is unapparent? When your soul is filled with inspiration, and you realize you have nothing to loose. Thats Beau in a nutshell.*

Pondicherry, 2008 - Haha! I'm barefoot!

Then there is my second biggest project at the moment. After having rediscovered an old friend from India, Sebastian, to cut a long story short I started working with his father's company, VitalLink (...is a system/hardware combination that enables easy online call/computer use for elders). This company is very interesting, making contact easier with technology. Right now it seems everybody is doing this in this time period. The special thing with this company is the're crowd the 'hopeless cases' the ones technology leaves behind since technology is also a synonym for modernism (seen from the perspective of a young one grown up using a computer since the age of three and a grandmother who cannot send sms:s).

The nice things for me is that this project has a bit of a long-term aspect to it (as in is Isa time long-term). I am also encouraged to put my soul into this project, to come with ideas and inspiration. At the moment I acknowledge that with 'all the things' happening, I am putting what I see as my personal minimum into it. Doing the things I say I'll do as good as I can. I am - regardless of the previous words - excited by the idea that I may find in Isian (inspired isa) way to contribute to this project - putting life into all the corners of my existence, v. the getting it done model.

And here! I haven't even begun. I still have my two - seemingly pending website projects. One in Spain, one in Germany. Both with horse people. Both really exciting, but pending due to something in common between horse people - it seems they are good at filling their calenders? (said in a joking tone with a smile).

Once I move to Germany there are also a bunch of little local things to partake in... and that is not even to go into all the fun Sebastian and I could have with our shared love of photography, computers and music.

 Tears of Faith (Work in Progress) by Iraisis

Or my love of making music... or my love of dancing.. singing . but these two are progressive, and only really involve me (but in a sense, they are the most important - since they are my metaphor for plugging myself into the wall).

In and around all this the difference between motivation and inspiration is creeping up on me. What does that mean. What does it mean to be motivated to earn v. being inspired to create? Where is the balance? Is there a balance? What am I doing right now and how is it affecting me? Can i chose to create the inspired model in the things i do v. to have the getting it done attitude?

As Björk says:

It takes Courage, to enjoy it... 
the hardcore and the gentle
big time sensuality

  06 Big Time Sensuality by user927746

Little play on life there - takes courage to enjoy life - for what it is..

All love - and Oh! Happy times of year to everyone reading, and of course, everyone else especially, since the're not reading (pun intended).

*Merrry Christmas Beau! There is my little present to you, just couldn't help thinking that after having written something so nice and real about you. ;)